The Secret Diary of Satine
by barqhorse
Summary: There were one or two things even Zidler didn't know about. Sequel to the movie. Please read and review.
1. Default Chapter

Author's note: This is going to be a little different. I am branching away from the usually MR fics. I hope you will like it. I am still a relatively new writer so any comments or criticism would be greatly appreciated.  
  
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Disclaimer: All characters from the movie do not belong to me. Although the following story and character development are all mine.  
  
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Chapter 1: An Unexpected Gift  
  
A persistent knock interrupted his thoughts once again. Christian reluctantly left his typewriter to answer the door. He readied himself with a scathing retort for the person who dared to interrupt him as he threw open the door, but all words left him when he saw whom his visitor was. For there stood Harold, the man who Christian had not spoken with since the opening night of that dreaded play. After a long silence, Zidler cleared his throat and said, "Uh. Hello Christian. I know we haven't spoken lately but I needed to talk to you. Recently I was packing Satine's things to put away. I had heard you were writing a book about.about you and .Satine. I thought . you might find use for this." He hesitantly held out a book.  
  
Christian quickly snatched the book out of his hands, hungry to touch anything belonging to his love. He gazed at the cover, wondering how a book could help him, and saw no title. He opened the cover and read the first page. The first words read, "Dear Diary, ." He closed the book suddenly, pain and love warring to in his features. He fought back his emotions, not wanting to breakdown in front of Harold. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me," he said in a hoarse whisper.  
  
Harold looked back at him pity and compassion in his eyes. "It is what she would have wanted. Goodbye." With that Harold turned and walked away. Christian stared blankly knowing he would probably never see Harold Zidler again.  
  
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A/N: I know it was short, but it is just the beginning. I will write more soon. Feel free to read my other story "Twisted Tragedy." I chapters for this may be few and far between as I am currently writing a sequel to TT as well. Well, thanks for reading. Please, please, please review! 


	2. The First Time

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is all mine! ;) (hehehe)  
  
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In a daze, Christian walked across the room and sat heavily on the bed. He caressed the worn leather cover of the precious book. He fought with his emotions as he debated on the ethics of reading it. On one hand it was a window to his love's every thought, but on the other it was her private and intimate secrets. His curiosity won out. Tenderly he opened the cover to the first paged and read the first of those most cherished words.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's my thirteenth birthday! I got you as a gift. I hope to fill you up with lots of good secrets. So I have a good one to tell you already. Jean Lambert kissed me today. He walked with me in the park and we were feeding the ducks when he just leaned over and kissed me. It was so nice. But I don't think he had done a lot of kissing. He is very hansom. I wouldn't mind if he kissed me again. I wonder if he would come to dinner on Sunday. I hope so. I should go write the invitation. Mother is calling me. I will talk to you again soon.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Mademoiselle Satine  
  
He gently closed the book, a smile playing on his lips. It was the first time in months that he had genuinely smiled. He set the precious journal on the table as he readied for bed. The words I will talk to you again soon repeated themselves as he fell into a dreamless sleep.  
  
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He woke to the sun shining in his window. For once he felt rested and didn't dread making it through another day. He looked around the room and sneered disgustedly at the mess. He had been a little less than clean in the months he since her death. He was determined not to let that thought get him down. His fingers itched to open that diary, but first he needed to clean.  
  
That done he returned to the table and picked up the journal. He reverently opened it to the next entry.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
He said yes! I am so happy. He is coming to dinner tonight. I hope we can have sometime together. Mamere says I am old enough to start a courtship. I wonder if Jean would court me. He is sixteen last month. I would love to be Madame Satine Lambert. I can only hope. I must get ready for dinner. I will tell you how it goes. Wish me luck.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Mme. Satine  
  
A wane smile crossed his lips at the wishes of a young girl verses the eventual outcome he knew would happen. He turned the page and read on.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I hate daddy! He ruined everything! He doesn't like Jean. He thinks that Jean is a worthless nobody just because he is a musician. Well, I think Jean is very talented and someday he is going to be great. Someday I am going to sing the songs while he plays the piano. Just you wait, I prove it to Daddy and everyone else too.  
  
Anyway, after dinner Jean and I sat on the porch. We talked for a while. He kissed me again. It was even better than last time. He started to ask me something when daddy came out and found us. He said it was time for Jean to leave and me to go to bed. I told him we were just talking but he insisted Jean leave. So we said goodbye. But as Daddy turned around we kissed one more time and I went in. I feel so grown up, like I'm having an affair or something. I like keeping a secret from Daddy. I hope Jean will keep seeing me. Talk to you later.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Mlle. Satine  
  
He closed the diary, lost in thought. A rumbling from his stomach interrupted his musings. He realized that for the first time in a long time he was actually hungry. He grabbed his coat, carefully placing the diary in his pocket, and head out. He would continue reading, after he had some breakfast.  
  
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A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. Got sidetracked. So what do you think? Should I continue? Please review. 


	3. Love and Loss

A/N: It has been few and far between chapters. I've actually had ch. 2 since I posted ch. 1 just never got around to posting it. So here is chapter 3. I got some sudden inspiration over Christmas.I got the movie from a friend. So hear it goes.  
  
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Chapter 3: Love and Loss  
  
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Christian sat at a table at a café around the corner. He picked up the diary as he was waiting for his breakfast. He opened to the next entry and began to read.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I'm in love. At least I think I am. Jean and I kissed again today. He took me out to lunch and bought me a rose. I told him it was the most beautiful rose I had ever seen. Then he said, and I quote, "No, you are." I almost fainted. Is that not the most romantic thing you have ever heard? Then we kissed. He walked me home and I was hoping he would kiss me again but he only kissed my hand. Oh well, I cannot have to much of a good thing and Daddy could have been watching. I have to write a letter to Adele and tell her all about it, she is my best friend after all. I'll talk to you later.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Mlle. Satine  
  
Christian sighed and smiled at a young girl's fancies and read on.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Daddy is so mean! He saw Jean kissing me in the garden and got mad. Jean tried to ask if he could court me, and Daddy hit him! Jean just sat there on the ground while Daddy scream at him, saying that I was too yound and that no sixteen year old boy was going to court his daughter while she lived in his house. Then Daddy picked Jean up by the collar and half-dragged him, like any common alley cur, to the street and threw him in the gutter. He told Jean that if he ever saw him near me again that he would call the police and have him arrested for harassment. With what I thought was great dignity Jean stood up and brushed of his clothes a bowing to me and a stiff nod to my father walked away down the street. I followed Daddy back to the house crying. When we got inside he told me to sit and gave me a lecture about how I was never to see or talk to Jean again. I pleaded with him and begged for him to reconsider. I told him that Jean was the oldest son of a local merchant who sold perfume and jewelry. Daddy just frowned and said that it was all the more reason to avoid him. I told him that I loved him and that he loved me because he had said so. He just got madder and said that he was probably betrothed to a rich girl already and lying to me just because I was pretty. I denied this and just cried harder. If arguing didn't work the tears did. Daddy hates to see me cry. He said our love couldn't be very strong if I came to tearts over it. We sat there saying nothing while I cried my last few tears. After he told me that he still held to the position that I was to young to be courted he sent me to my room to get ready for supper. I still think he is mean, but I am not angry anymore. I am actually worried. What if Daddy was right and Jean is lying to me? I'll ask him. IF I ever get to see him again! I have to get ready for supper now.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Satine  
  
"Here is your tea and croissant, sir."  
  
He looked up slightly confused, and then remembering where he was said, "Oh, thank you." He smiled as she walked away. He looked at his croissant and thought about ordering some soup to go with it as he realized how starving he was. He wolfed it down taking long gulps of tea ignoring the heat as it scalded his tongue. After ordering some soup he picked up the diary again. He caressed the leather cover as he reviewed what he had already read. He stared into space, a smile playing on his lips, for a few moments before opening the journal.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! This time I mean Jean. Daddy was right. Sort of. Jean is betrothed to a rich merchants daughter since he was nine. Her father was his father's best friend in school. He said if he could he would marry me instead. I told him to forget it. He lied to me. I can never forgive him for that. So I told him to leave and that I never wanted to see him again. I was almost hoping he would deny it and say he still wanted to marry me, but he just nodded, kissed my hand and walked away. I sat there and cried for a long time until Mamere came out and sat with me. She told me that he wasn't good enough for me if he gave me up that easily and that I would find my true love and be happy. I asked her when I would find my true love and she smiled and said that I would know when I found him. So until then I am supposed to be happy with being alone and just keep looking. I hope I do find the man for me. Until then I will always have you.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Satine  
  
He looked up and with a sigh and a slightly sad smile he whispered, "You found me Satine. You did."  
  
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	4. The Getaway

I know this has been a long time in coming. I got busy with school and I couldn't think of any good plot. But I finally came up with something. So here it goes I hope you like it as much as the last three chapters.  
  
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Chapter 4: The Getaway  
  
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Christian walked down the streets of Paris thinking of all he had learned from the few short passages in that little leather book. His thoughts turned to the story he was supposed to be writing back in his garret. This of course led to memories of her. Satine. He sighed heavily as the pain of her death came back to him. Guiltily, but in relief, he realized that thinking of her hurt a lot less these last few days. Lost in thought, he bumped into an object that impeded his path. Looking around him, he noticed that he had come to the local gardens of the Latin Quarter. The object he had run into was a bench. Taking in the peace and quiet of the park at noon, he sat on the bench and prepared to read.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I am being sent away. Father has decided that I need to take a holiday in the country. I am to spend an entire year with Grandmama and attend a finishing school for girls while I am there. I hate Grandmama's house. It is always cold and it is so big. When I was four, I got lost trying to find my bedroom. And she is so mean to her servants. I don't believe that she was ever a child, otherwise she would stop saying that she never understands children. I am bringing as many books as possible, as well as all of my sheet music. Mama wants me to practice, so that I can impress the headmistress or headmaster of the school. I just love to sing. Nanny thinks that I have the voice of an angel. Daddy once told me that he would listen to me sing forever if we could stay awake that long. I actually tried once when I was little. I started at seven o'clock and I fell asleep at nine o'clock, but then again, I was only six. Anyway, I leave for Grandmama's in two weeks. There is so much to do. I haven't even told Adele I am going yet. There is so much to pack too. I probably wont even have time to write to you until I am on the train. So until then, goodbye.  
  
From the girl who sings, love,  
  
Mlle. Satine Dear Diary,  
  
I am sorry for neglecting you for so long. I have been here for a month already. When I tried to write in you the first time, Grandmama saw and took you away. She says that journals are for sea captains and little girls, which I am neither. It took me this long to find you. She had you hidden in a locked cabinet in Grandfather's old study, where I am forbidden to go. I go anyway. Next to my bedroom, it is my favorite room in the house. It is big and stuffed with books and a great old leather chair. I like to sneak in and read or dance around on the Persian rug. Anyway, I do everything I can to avoid Grandmama and especially her English butler Fredrick. I think Grandmama sends him to spy on me, and he is just waiting to catch me doing something forbidden, which is pretty easy since so many things are forbidden to me. Don't go in there. Don't do that. That is very unladylike. Sit up. Be quiet. No boys. No music. No writing. I am so bored. If it weren't for school I would scream. Even school isn't much better. The teacher's are dreadfully boring, and the girls all hate me. They come from old rich families and look down at anybody who doesn't have a noble in their ancestry. I hate them all. I guess I will wait and see if the situation improves.  
  
Your frustrated friend, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It did get better! Oh, so much better! I have found a reason to stay. His name is Philippe Descartier. He has the most beautiful green eyes you have ever seen. He is sixteen and goes to the boys' school on the other side of the lake. I met him at an inter-school social. All the girls are in love with him. I just about died when he asked me to dance. I hope he couldn't tell how nervous I was. He stayed and talked to me the rest of the evening, and we danced a couple more times. This will probably make things worse with all the girls at school. They are jealous me because the teacher's like me and I sing better than the rest of them. I wish there was just one that would act like a decent human being. I want a friend, you know, someone to tell secrets and talk about boys with. You're my only friend now. I just wish you could talk back some times. I just get so lonely. But maybe Philippe can be my friend. We'll see what happens.  
  
Yours truly, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I saw him again. He actually came to visit me. ME! He showed up during my music lessons. I was in the middle of a song when he walked in. I missed a beat but continued. He sat in the back listening to me sing, and I saw him keep the time with his foot. He never took his eyes off me. I could have sworn he clapped the hardest when I had finished, but maybe I am just being full of myself. We skipped the lunch hour and walked the grounds. For the most part we didn't talk, but we didn't need to. When we did, he complimented me on my singing. He thinks I should become a professional. He suggested I take some acting lessons and tryout for the local theater. He even gave me the name of a family friend who is a director. Then he invited me to see a silent film in the city. I really want to go, but I don't think Grandmama will let me. I need to figure out a plan to get her to let me go. Pray that I will find a way.  
  
Hopefully yours, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
She is letting me go! I can't believe my luck. We are going out to lunch and then seeing the 2 o'clock matinee. It is going to be just delightful. Oh my goodness, what am I going to wear! I have so much to plan. I'll tell you how it goes.  
  
Your Happy Friend, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I am in love! I had the best time. Lunch was absolutely delicious. We finished early and walked around the gardens before going to the theater. The film starred Sarah Bernhart. It was beautiful. It was about a girl who falls in love with her neighbor who doesn't even realize her feelings until the last moment and then they fall in love forever. Someday I wish I could be in a film like that. As it is, I am in love in real life. Philippe kissed me in an alley next to the theater. It was the most wonderful kiss. Philippe is a great kisser. You are the only one who I can tell any of this to. I dare not tell mother, or father might demand that I not see him again. Grandmama would kill me if she ever found out. Knowing how she feels about men, it is no wonder that she never got married after Grandfather died so young. I can only hope she lets me see Philippe again. I do hope I can. Until we talk again.  
  
Yours Truly, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
She has banned me from seeing him! One of her friends from the city saw us kissing and told her. She has forbidden me to go anywhere but school and the house grounds. I am to have no visitors and private lessons with no audience. I am banned from going to any of the school socials or parties. I will go crazy. She can't do this to me. I will write to father. I am fourteen years old, and she cannot keep me from growing up. Daddy won't let this happen. I can always count on him.  
  
Sincerely yours, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
He is letting her keep me hostage. He said that Grandmama has full authority as long as I am living with her. He actually said that he agrees with her about Philippe. I can't believe he is taking her side. I am going to die from loneliness. I just can't take it. It has been a month since I have seen Philippe and I have no other friends. I am just so tired of being alone. I wish Nanny were here; she would know what to do.  
  
Your lonely friend, Mlle. Satine  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I got a letter from Daddy. He has decided that I should stay with Grandmama for two more years. Two Years! I can't stand living in this house for two more years. I will go insane. But I have come up with a plan. I will stay for the summer and save my monthly allowance that Daddy sends for me. That will give me five months to plan. I am going away. I am running away. I am going to go back to Paris. I will see if I can get Philippe to help me. By the end of the summer, I should have about 5000 francs if I don't spend any of it. I can always access my savings once I get to Paris. The escape is going to take some planning though. I have time. I'll try to keep you updated.  
  
Yours Truly, Mlle. Satine  
  
The Escape Plan  
  
1. Sneak out of the house 2. Meet Philippe with horses at the Kissing Tree 3. Ride to the train station 4. Buy train tickets 5. Take train to Paris 6. Find and rent a flat 7. Remove savings from account  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
We made it. Philippe and I made it to Paris. The plan worked perfectly. I escaped with no one the wiser. Grandmama is probably furious and blaming Fredrick for letting me escape. She'll write to Daddy and he will send the police to look for me. But he won't know the first place to look. For now I am Mlle. Collette and Philippe is M. Albert, the soon to be married couple. He loves me. He told me so. The fact that he was willing to help this much proves that, but he actually plans to marry me he says. I hope it is so. We have to wait awhile though, to see if anybody managed to follow us and so that we can get on our feet. We need to find jobs and such things like that. Between the two of us we have a total of 50,000 francs, but who knows how long that will last. Things are more expensive here than I thought. I never realized how rich my parents really were. Oh well, things are looking up from here. Until we speak again.  
  
Your free friend, Mlle. Satine (Collette)  
  
Christian sighed as he closed the diary. He rubbed his eyes and realized that the sun was setting. He had spent the entire afternoon absorbed in the unfolding story of Satine. Or rather, Collette. His stomach rumbled and he picked him self up and headed back to his garret for dinner and some sleep.  
  
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A/N: I really hope you liked it. It was longer than I was expecting. Pleeeeeaaaase review. Thanx a bunch. 


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